Lifting hearts to God in thanks and praise.

Joy Dare Again

I woke up Saturday with depression. A week ago, more. I didn’t know why. I’ve had time to think about it, and this is what I know so far: it takes me a while to process, like germs from another kid; by the time your kid is sick you don’t know which kid infected yours two days ago. I lost a best friend when I was 15, and it took a year before I was depressed. Didn’t know why.

So I didn’t know why depression came last Saturday but I knew how to fight it. I grabbed the Joy Dare. Who cares that I hadn’t been keeping up? I filled in the blank days with relish, thinking back or fitting things in regardless of date. (Hope that’s okay, Ann? Grace?) It worked. It at least worked to get me to almost normal. But the whole week I was testy. The whole week too much was on my plate, my shoulders. I cried out to God every morning, “Fill me with your love to love others, you be in control of my day, I need you!”

It was a hard week. Full of failure in my own eyes. Correction from others (bless them!) heard as criticism. No, but there were graces too, and I will count them.

To finish the story first, this Saturday rolled around and I’ll write more of that on Wednesday, but it ended with relief. Then on Sunday when I took Ravinia to Junior Strings there was no parking so I dropped her off. I went on and parked on the road to the beach. Grabbed the crochet bag and found a bench above, facing the water. I sat down, still in Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes, slipped off shoes, picked up yarn to work an Easter egg dishcloth, and looked up.

Dolphin fin! Oh the curved back, black against shining blue. Sparkling sun on water to the right and dolphin was headed that way. From time to time I watched the surfacing, remembering swimming like that as a kid, remembered the smell of ocean (why do I stay away so long, busy? away from glory??), remembered to praise God for this glory.

1.17 one gift that made you laugh, one gift that made you pray, one gift that made you quiet
Park day fun with other moms
hosting a jewelry party, would anyone come?
Dad to doctor
1.18 3 gifts from God’s word
The joy of the Lord is my strength
Call to me and I will answer you
For I know the plans I have for you…
1.19 a grace in the kitchen, a grace in the weather, a grace that might never have been
Cherry almond mini muffins
rain in the night
9 girls came to the party we planned (one rsvp)
1.20 3 gifts you saw only when you got close up
thank you notes
ladies tea for Susan’s birthday
reading 2 Addy books to Ravinia
1.21 one thing in the sky, one thing from memory, one thing that’s ugly-beautiful
soft stretched-out clouds
James 2:1, the Lord Jesus Christ, our GLORY
fighting depression with gratitude
1.22 one grace wrinkled, one grace smoothed, one grace unfolded
a dress I couldn’t wear, too wrinkled
husband’s ironed shirt
silk scarf from China, gift from Zoe
1.23 3 gifts found in Christ
as you do to the least of these (look for him, for grace)
James study via Beth Moore videos
Ladies Romans Bible study, here at my house!
1.24 3 things blue
pen writing this list in my journal
1.25 one grace borrowed, one grace found, one grace inherited
a book from the library
time with Lucy Chapman
love of baking
1.26 a gift before 9am, gift before noon, gift after dark
baking cupcakes for Daddy’s class
schooling at Starbucks
release that the day was done, failures forgiven
1.27 3 gifts that might never have been

1.28 3 graces found in your friends
shoulder rub to get out the knots
attendance at the jewelry party (and donations for thrift store for Haiti)
homeschool moms at birthday party Ravinia attended
1.29 a song heard, a soft word, where you saw light
guitar playing Puff the Magic Dragon next to me as I watched a dolphin
compliment on the sweater I had crocheted and was wearing
light on the ocean, dazzling
1.30 3 old things seen new
Dad praying, enjoying the morning as he ate breakfast on the back porch
Crate the cat, feeling like skin and bones, begging for a lap in the morning
Mom’s silver hearts necklace, like a charm bracelet, polished up and shining bright


Comments on: "Joy Dare Again" (2)

  1. Hi, I have enjoyed your awesome website. I have bookmarked your site so, will check in now and then. Thank you!

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